Gain a little self respect

So, my boy and I decided to go to a Happy Hour on Friday. I guess I should really say that I decided to go and asked him to come too. You ALWAYS need a good wingman, but that's a topic for another blog.

Anyway, we go to Maxwell's for Happy Hour. This particular day, they have 1 cent drink specials. Let me let that sink in for a minute....... Yes. The drinks were really a penny. Of course, they had no change, and if you were silly enough to think that there was some catch with drinks being a penny, I guess you just paid a dollar and called it a day. At least that's what I did a few times. So yes, I was drinking white chocolate martinis that only cost a penny.

So, as time went on, we ordered food and chatted with the waitress. You also need a good waiter/waitress on your team too, but I'll cover that in the wingman blog too. While we sat there, I began schooling my boy in the exact same way that I was schooled. He is a self professed novice at the art of mingling. And while I'm in a constant race to get myself out of the game, I know enough to know what I'm doing.

Towards the end of the night (yes. I'm skipping a lot of stuff that either you don't need to know or that I'd never tell anyway) a couple of nice looking young ladies came in. They were having a good time together and were dancing with each other on the floor. After making a guess that they were probably together and not TOGETHER, I let my boy know what his plan of action should be.

Ladies, we need a plan. See, for us, we may take 20 minutes to gain the courage to come talk to you. Now if we are imbibing in that "liquid courage" then the equasion looks more like TA = (T)/(.5XD) Where TA is the real time to approach, T is the standard time to approach, and XD is the number of drinks you've had. So if we would normally approach you in 20 minutes, in the club, with 2 drinks in us, that seems about right. Now when you have your girls with you, that final number is multiplied by the number in your party TA = 2*((T)/(.5XD)). It kind of explains why the first dude to approach you is normally drunk. They get less and less drunk as the night goes on. They also get nicer and nicer since the nice guys drink less and tend to wait out the standard amount of courage time. Keep this in mind when you realize that the first 10 dudes to approach have made you bitter to the last few.

Back on topic. I gave him his suggestion to wait for a lull in their laughing fit and go ask both of them to dance. They, having decided which one would actually like him will then accept the dance. If it happened to be the one he liked, great, if not, he still got a dance with a beautiful woman. Win/Win, right?

They ended up posting up less than 5 feet from us, not near a table, wall, or anything. When he approached, he nicely asked them to dance. Once of them pushed the other toward the dance floor and said go ahead... They then hemmed an hawwed and finally said no.

After relaying the actual 10 second convo to me, my boy had the most insightful thing to say, "I'd have respected her more if she had just said no."

And so I leave it to you. Why the games? Why not just say no thanks and call it a day?