I Thought You Liked Foreplay

We men would love, love, LOVE to have the sixty second, "wanna hang out," "how was your day," type of conversations. They rock. They are the purpose of phones, IMHO. The problem is that it always balloons from there. You want longer conversations. You want us to read sonnets that we've written about you over the phone from memory. The phone becomes a substitute for what we want... more on that in a minute.

See, I love my cousin. He is the perfect example of what I want, and when he calls me, the conversation is usually like this.

{start call}
Cole.
Cuz! What's up?
How's things going?
Good. How's everybody there?
Good. So and so asked about you. You should call them.
I'll do that.
Alright man, just checking on you.
Cool. I'll talk to you later.
Love ya.
Love you too man.
{end call}

It's what we do. 45 seconds and we get our point across.

Which brings me to the want. Women use the phone to have "conversations." This is what we men would prefer to have when we are physically together. And I know I speak for myself, but I think I speak for a lot of other men. The long convos are for together time.

This is why we love text. Simple 160 characters to exchange info. Where are you? I'm running late. I miss you. These can't be drawn into a long discussion and at worst, you type a few of these. And they can be drawn out over the day, each one taking only a few seconds.

This is flirtation. This is fun. Coming up with a concept, paring it down to fit in a 160 character (including punctuation and spaces) message. Changing words and phrases so that we don't lose the meaning and innuendo. This is not an easy task. We love it. Especially when you "get" it. It's our way to get you and us through the day. That sexually veiled comment that makes us smile when that one stupid customer gets to us. That thought of what we might say to you when we do see you. The words that we will say to soothe your awful day. The hilarious story you won't believe... This is our joy. Do not take it away.

So, ladies, in order to find out if your man/lover/dude is like me, ask yourself what the conversation is like when you're together.

Is it lively and animated and fun? If so, you may just have to learn to deal with it.

Look at the texting as the foreplay and the personal conversation as the sex.